Life in the Sweet Spot

I can write endless ridiculously heartfelt words about my boys, my family, but when it comes to me it's a little harder.

I love my role as Mom, wife, I seriously wouldn't wish to do anything different.  This is the time for me to be here, and I know it will be the most special of my life.  Last week I had a procedure and before they took me in and gave me the happy juice I had a really sweet conversation with one of the nurses.  One of those you know God sent, words just for you.  She said she would trade places with me in a "New York minute."  She had raised six children (not all at the same time as she said), but those were the happiest years of her life.  Did she seem to still love her life now?  Yes.  What she meant was just that the time was beautiful.  We also talked about how people expected her (and me) to be frazzled, complain about our kids, and how she never felt that way overall.  Her advice, to never talk bad about your children in public...you have to be their champion.  As I say, if you aren't going to be their biggest fan and support who will?

Her words spoke right into my heart and it was somewhat of an intimate conversation to have with a complete stranger, yet her kinds eyes, demeanor, and humor put me at ease.  I told her I love my life and I do, it doesn't mean I don't have super-hard want to scream at the top of your lungs, stay in bed and eat some Ben & Jerry's Fro-Yo (the whole pint of Half Baked to be exact) days, moments, even minutes.  I do and sometimes I wallow in them too long, but more than that I fight the feeling, I don't want to feel sorry for myself ever, and some days it's just better to admit it's a tough one and tomorrow is brand new and again His grace flows freely.

I am never one to give-in to what others want me to be or expect.  I will never give anyone that satisfaction.  Nor will my children.  I do not want a pity party, when someone remarks, "better you than me" I couldn't agree more.  I am not pampered in the way this world thinks of pampered.  I have always worked hard...my entire life, and most things I have really wanted in my life I have not come easy or even remotely easy.

I feel life, I can't turn it off, God made me this way and I will no longer apologize for it.  Label it sensitive if you must ;) but I am so happy to be touched by it all, maybe I feel the bad a little more than others, but I feel all the good and the joy more too.  I have known unaffected people who have no ability to process empathy and despite the intensity of my feelings, I would so rather feel!  Connecting to life is what makes it beautiful!  I was gifted 5 BOYS, little men to raise.  My little men are sensitive, emotional, and feeling too.  They were made perfect by Him.   My heart is joyful to work with my husband raising 5 men who will be allowed to cry, feel, connect, love, all of it, and I am trusting in His plan in entrusting them to me.

Sure this is the hardest, most emotionally involved, incredible thing I have ever done.  Those who know me best know I am a big fan of telling the truth and living who you are, living authentically.  When the day is done all that matters is feeling His grace, learning to lighten up on myself, and loving on my loves.  I know I am living in the sweet spot and it isn't lost on this blessed mama.

Our New Toy!

Single-handedly keeping Step 2 in business! :)  

After a L-O-N-G Chicago winter we are outdoors again (for a day anyhow!).  We have been keeping our eye on this climber and I think Matt and I were more excited when it arrived.  He put it together super fast and it was waiting outdoors...and then it snowed, yes in April.  At the first ray of sunshine we seized the moment and they love their new climber. 

Ethan has a wooden playset, but it's too big for the little boys, so he still gets it all to himself :)  I am just happy the boys can play in our backyard on something built just for their size and big enough for the 4 of them to fit in at once.  

Our little explorers....

Feed Me

Had to capture this one...Liam feeding Griffin...too funny! and then some group hugs!

A Sweet Treasure

Ethan says to me today as we are cuddling in the big comfy chair in the office, "Mom you are better than ___'s mom and ___'s mom you know why?  Because you are MY mom."

I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I have some of the sweetest boys (and man) in my life.  A girl couldn't feel more special. :)

My darling first born...

Naptime Antics

We finally broke down and purchased a video camera for the baby boys' room.  They are now 18-months old and we need to put action to all the voices/sounds/noise/craziness we hear over the monitor.  Today I am watching them and the goofiness begins.  Aiden and Beckham go down to sleep nicely.  Griffin and Liam usually do too, but not today, they decided it was party time.  Griffin doing silly stuff to make Liam laugh.  Liam being silly back and I am thinking they need to get to sleep...1 hour later.  Neither is upset, just not much progress being made in the sleep department.  Then Liam decides he is done...no one should mess with Liam and his sleep.  He is probably our best sleeper, once he is down that is, but he literally takes his naptime seriously and it's not pretty if he doesn't get his rest.  Griffin throws his blanket into Liam's crib.  Liam gets up, chucks the thing back at Griffin and huffs back down into bed.  Liam done.  Griffin wins.  And now nearly 1.5 hours later Griffin is finally asleep.  Yes this will surely mess up bedtime, but instead of wanting to wring their necks, I just wanted to laugh, and so laugh is what E and I did as we watched those silly monkeys :)

Lil' Irish Lads

Our St. Patrick's Day fun!

The naughty (but generous!) little leprechaun visited again making mischief and leaving yummy gold wrapped chocolate coins in his path.  Ethan and I again made our pot o'gold cupcakes.  The kid cracks me up, this time as we're painstakingly filling each cupcake, he says, "we have 5different colors and 10 cupcakes to fill, we have to do this FIFTY TIMES mom!"

The corned beef and cabbage didn't go over as well as the awesome cupcakes as you can see...

Little Readers, Little Singers

Tonight in the boys' bedroom reading and singing before putting them in their cribs, we realized the boys each have a favorite song and a favorite book, it is really too sweet.  I wish I could read nighttime stories full of happy endings to the boys forever. 

They are starting to sing along and make hand gestures, Aiden sings, "up above" for his favorite, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," Beckham gets all sweetfaced to "I Love You a Bushel and a Peck" a song my grandparents used to sing to me, Liam loves "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and is awesome at all the hand gestures, and no one can do "Wheels on the Bus" like Griffin, he shows us the round-and-round, up-and-down, open-and-shut, he's got it covered! 

Stories are treasured here, we have so many childrens books in our home.  You can never have enough books.  I truly believe if you teach a child to love books and love reading it opens the door to the whole world, it absolutely does. 

Griffin enjoys the classic Goodnight Moon, such a wonderful book, and finding all the things w/in the story and is really good at the hush-ing ;)

Beckham likes Goodnight Bunny, it's a touch and feel book and he is great at pointing everything out the bunny does on the way to bed, a really sweet book with a cuddly sweet bunny like Beck. 

Aiden's favorite is I Love You Through and Through and he is super awesome at opening his mouth and saying ahh as the little boy does in the book.  I think it's special that he picked the book because the little boy in it reminds me of him with his curly blonde hair. 

Liam loves Night Night Prayer a sweet little book with a curly haired child who gives thanks, and the story ends with, "God, Thank you for the trees, the birds, the sun that shines above. And thank you most of all dear God, for watching us with love. Night night God."   He says "nigh-nigh" with the pages as we read. 

And since I didn't have a blog at the time, Ethan's most favorite book was, I Took the Moon For a Walk, he absolutely loved finding the moon in the night sky and it is just truly a magical, beautiful book.  He has since moved on to the Magic Treehouse series of books, which I am really enjoying too! 

I hope they all read their favorites to their children (of course I will save them!) and pass these beautiful words and special times on.